"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
Since coming across the "Life Coach School Podcast", I have been listening to hours of episodes that always make a difference to my day. I love Personal Development, but what Brooke Castillo does is the next level - and I love when it gets to the next level.
One of Castillo`s key philosophies is that all starts, comes back to, builds on our thoughts. Although I have heard of this concept before, it only made click for me after listening to more than one of her Podcast episodes. And I experienced the power of thoughts for myself - for more than a week now, a past friend and I have been trying to find a slot to catch-up over phone. Not only haven`t we talked for years, which may add a bit of awkwardness into our communication, but also it was a back-and-forth of yes / no / tentatively. Yesterday was another attempt to get on a call, but it didn`t happen and my thoughts went crazy.
"Why can´t they commit to a slot?"
"Is it so difficult to get on a call?"
"Am I overreacting or annoyed for a good reason?"
"What does life want to show me?"
"Are they respecting my time? Is this even worth it?"
"How would love react? Isn`t this an exercise to choose love and compassion?"
"They don`t value my time!"
And so on and on ... as a result, I felt quite agitated, restless, and frustrated. When I woke up today, I could feel how this past event lingered with me, so I took some measures (after acknowledging, accepting, and feeling my emotions) to shift. It was Brooke who reminded me that it is our thoughts that determine our life experience. So the only thing we can do is to change our thoughts - so I did. And it was crazy how things have changed - my perspectives, my mood, and now the field of opportunities to react and choose. Instead of initially wanting to start a serious conversation about our unsuccessful scheduling, I was now even thinking of responding with humour and fun. What a change would this bring into our relationship and communication!
So let me share with you 3 ways, how to change your thoughts that create your life experience:
1. Be aware with mindfulness and compassion
Whenever there is a negative, challenging emotion, try not to judge and observe gently, with curiosity, what is currently here with you. "Oh, anger is here. Sadness is here, too. I can feel frustration in my face and eyebrows." You can also write down all your thoughts, judgments, and feelings down on paper to help them release and put them out, rather than keeping them in your mind to only keep you busy.
Note that our emotions don`t tell anything about our worth or state of happiness, even if they are negative or uncomfortable. We can always decide in a next step how we want to think about them and react to them. So notice also what you think what others may think about you in this state ...
2. Do what nourishes you
After acknowledging and accepting our emotional state, rather than jumping to the solution or a quick fix, build a bridge by doing something that nourishes you. It may be watching a nice movie, ordering delicious food, talking to a friend even if you know it won`t solve everything - whatever helps you to feel better. Moving your body, getting some fresh air, or taking a fresh shower can do wonders, too.
Self-care is a concept that is, unfortunately, not practiced often. So when we are in a low mood, it is esp. time to take good care of ourselves - you deserve a big hug, a cheer by your side, love that you yourself give to others. Even if it feels hard or unusual, choose self-care, step by step.
3. Choose a thought and question that serve you more
After recharging your battery - and maybe those self-care activities have helped you find further, unexpected perspectives, too - you can now choose a perspectve that is more helpful. Tony Robbins is all about asking the right questions - so what, instead of complaining, you explore the following:
What is the gift in this situation?
What am I learning about myself?
How would it look like if I choose love for myself?
What experience do I want to create for myself?
You have the power to create your life experience by asking the right questions and choosing the right thoughts. If you notice any Saboteurs, who feel righteous or defensive, park them aside - they may sound convincing, but they only drain you and destroy the life exerpience you want to have.
Much love x
Would you like to go deeper in a free Coaching session? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter and join our #magicmonday Community events :)
Inspiration: #magicmonday Community
Reflection: What thoughts are running my mind?
Intention: I take good care of myself.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com