Even if you have heard it several times - choose love

"I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear." - Oprah Winfrey

How successful are you in choosing love over fear? If this question is too philosophical, how often do you create more love (joy) than fear (suffering) for you and others? Let me give you an example:

I have received a message from a person with whom I, unfortunately, associate a painful past, triggering as a result lots of emotions and wounds. So when I read this person`s message, my hurt Inner Child got triggered, feeling not valued and respected. I was so taken aback that I felt my body shivering, also out of disappointment as I was expecting a kinder response. And this is where the trick lies - if you expect something and this person doesn`t meet it, you will naturally feel disappointed and might likely read the person`s message with hurtful eyes.

After I processed my negative emotions and also talked to my friends, who were also sharing their own experiences, I felt like I was trapped in a dilemma. There was one part of me feeling resentful and fearing that this person will continue this seemingly disrespectful behavior. But there was also another part that was curious about the person, and when I closed my eyes, that part - my heart - was even amused and laughed at this whole situation that I blew to a big elephant.

When I then read the message with my heart, ease, and a bit of humour, I could not only relax more, but even read something else in this person`s message, too. That this person was willing to talk, but it happens to be quite a busy schedule for them. That this person has a different communication style than mine, revealing more about them rather than about me. That this person actually already indicated that emails can leave room for misunderstandings and may appear cold (although I love putting in love in my emails). Finally, whatever the reason and background may be, it remains a way to get to know this person - with curiosity rather than judgment, with mindfulness rather than expectatations, with love rather than fear.

With love, I responded compassionately and kept our dialogue open rather than shutting it down as my hurtful Inner Child impulsively wanted to do, esp. considering the many hypothetical (!) assumptions it has made. Of course, I can understand my Inner Child`s motivation and fear of being hurt again, but my heart, which has matured, is wise, strong and eager to live. If a person wants to pull you down or react a certain way, then this shouldn`t be your problem - it would be theirs. With love, you can also surprise the other person by steering the ship in new territories and exploring something new together.

Love, from me to you x


Would you like to go deeper in a free Coaching session? Let me know by sending an email to hello@vietlinhle.com – I very look forward to hearing from you! PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter and join our #magicmonday Community events :)

  • Inspiration: Brené Brown - Daring Greatly

  • Reflection: How can I take care of myself?

  • Intention: I celebrate my vulnerability, while taking good care of myself.

Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com