"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs
I had a great opportunity to assist in a Coaching training workshop on the big topic around "Fulfilment". While it was in a virtual setting given the current circumstances, it was a magical time to work with like-minded people who share similar values and skills, and to witness how other participants, undergoing the Coaching training (which I had completed months ago), are learning and growing as both a person and a coach. "Fulfilment" is esp. a topic that very much resonates with me, as we don`t connect with our true self, purpose, and values enough, and even if we do, we may not have enough courage to stick with it in a life that is often defined by others` expectations and societal drivers. This workshop was also a chance for me to be in service - we often hear, if we face a low and be in service of others, this will help shift energy and also focus away from our self (self-centeredness causes most of our pain). I can hereby confirm that being in service is truly rewarding and fulfilling!
Here are my 3 key insights with you what Fulfilment is about:
1. Resonance vs. Dissonance
This term is often used in our Coaching training, but may not be that clear to outsiders, although this is a very valuable tool to have. Let me invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and travel back to your happiest moment in your life. This may be the birth of a newborn child, being outside in nature, traveling to a new place, spending time with your loved ones, eating your favorite meal, listening to this piece of music, ... Whatever it is - there is no right or wrong, re-live this moment again in the fullest colours, senses, emotions. Where do you feel this moment in your body? What do you wear? Who are you with? When you slowly open your eyes again, you learn that you have just experienced a resonant state. A state where you feel fulfilled. As if your heart is opening up. You feel expansive, knowing there are so many opportunities in front of you. Others call this also "Higher Self", "Best Self", "Leader Within".
So what is then dissonance? Yes, you guessed it, it is the opposite of resonance ;) Dissonance can be often felt in our head / mind. Dissonance can be seen in our face, when we start to frown and show our doubts, uncertainty, fear. Dissonance is when we are limited by our own and others` views. We are not our best self and literally "shrinking", energetically and physically. In dissonance, we see the world as a dark place, where almost nothing is possible or only possible if ... Our body feels heavy, we almost feel no drive to move ahead.
Knowing this difference will help you guide your decision and actions based on whether they resonate with your heart ("Hell, yes!") or where your mind thinks ("ugh ..."). If you tune into your body, you will know it. Increase your awareness to know this life-changing difference.
2. Are you honouring your values?
When we talk about "values", we may think of ethics and morale. In the "Fulfilment" context, it is more about what is important to you and what makes you who you are. For example, mindfulness has become a huge value for me, meaning also mindful communication. I have stopped dealing with people who were just not capable of mindful communication, who were constantly in their hurt ego, unable to communicate non-violently. and struggling to understand the other party`s view. What is then frustrating (and sometimes self-harming) is, however truthfully and considerately you communicate, the other person, not practicing mindfulness, will never be able to understand you (like you understand them) and appreciate your efforts. So it is then up to us to ask how much can I honour my value if I am with this person or does this person help me honour this value - if not, then re-focus your attention to relationships that serve you. Honouring your values strengthen your resonance, ignoring them will make you feel less empowered and connected.
3. What is your vision in life?
Now this question can be a big one, I know. Also not everyone needs to have vision to save the world - if it is to have our own bakery or just be a good parent (both visions are more than worthwhile, hard work, and contribute to a greater world!), then it is more than great because this is just who you are in your core. Imagine a world where everyone can live their true passions and from their deepest core - would this world not look totally different? Just think of the human interactions - if we feel fulfilled, we would act from a more nourished place and less likely to hurt, attack, or criticize others. Why wouldn`t we? We are now operating from a place of abundance and service - it is now more about "we" than "I". If you want to envision your life, you may want to try a guided meditation to listen deeply in yourself (e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ6_F4369js). What impact do you have on this world?
If you (roughly) know your vision of life, feel free to map this on a vision board, connect to your image regularly, and also have the courage and strength to stay committed to your vision. Regardless of others` reactions or external circumstances - I do believe that we all have unique talents and strengths with the responsiblity to share them (Marie Forleo would call this selfish if we don`t!), and as Jay Shetty says (yes, again my best friend Shetty :)),
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."
Are you looking for support to find your purpose? Let me know by sending an email to email@example.com – I would be very keen to hear your views! :) PS: Subscribe to my Newsletter to stay in touch for any upcoming posts and news :)
This week`s ...
Inspiration: Brené Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection
Reflection: What is important for me in life?
Intention: Assess what my top values are and how much I am honouring them in my life.