“We do not coach for a problem to be solved, we coach for a life to be lived.” :)
This was the quote the Co-Active Training Institute (CTI) brought up during its information session for everyone who wanted to know more about a potential Coaching training. The quote resonated with me immediately and I remember I was so excited afterwards – to actually coach my own life to be lived :) After my last blog post on how my Coaching journey started, Part II of my story will shed more light on what Coaching is and why I really believe in personal development. Don`t worry – it will not be technical, but if you ever wondered why I am so passionate about this (for me and for others!), here is the invitation to read more :)
Before I attended that exciting information session with CTI, I was almost ready to end my Coaching plan after having attended two different information sessions that did not really convince me (I even left one event before it ended). As these trainings often come with a huge financial investment, I looked for a “sparkling moment” – for a moment which urged me to learn more, be more curious and see the value of my financial investment. The first two providers were approaching Coaching as fixing a problem and/or fixing the person, which often means that the coach gives advice to your clients – but how can I be sure that my advice would be as helpful for a client as for me? The client and I are two different individuals, with different backgrounds and stories, with different personalities and preferences – what may serve you, may not do for me. One example – I may find it valuable to meditate and reflect on things before making a decision, while you may find it actually more useful if you talk your options through with your friends.
But when I got to know Co-Active Coaching by CTI, I was fascinated and could not believe I found my match! Co-Active Coaching builds on four key principles called cornerstones, which is transforming, supporting, and fundamental. For me, they not only apply in Coaching, but also generally in life:
(1) People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.
(2) Focus on the whole person.
(3) Dance in this moment.
(4) Evoke transformation.
The first cornerstone – “People are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole” – may be my most favourite one (although they are all so good!!:)). It is a strong belief that there is nothing wrong with us, that innately, we are complete, valuable, and unique individuals. We do have all the answers and resources within us – I know it sounds cliché – but I do believe that if we are not able to access our true answers and inner resources, it may be because of our auto-pilot, fast-paced life, pressure from outside, life lived according to others` expectations. If we, for instance, find more time to get to know ourselves or, from time to time, let our heart speak louder than our rational mind, we may realize that we can trust our own instincts and capabilities more to create a powerful life. As a coach, I do not doubt that my client will find their right way or learn during the process. I support my client to see themselves as I see them: naturally creative, resourceful, and whole.
“Focussing on the whole person” has been something I have already been living before being a professional coach. It means to not see someone only as the CEO / as the mother / as an artist – it means to see the person as the CEO, who also cares as a mother and expresses the artist in her. She may be also a daughter, a wife, a friend, a colleague, someone who likes to play tennis – and so much more. Moreover, I trust that there is more than labels can describe – while my client may not be aware of this themselves. As a coach, I know that life is intertwined and one life area may affect another, in one or the other way.
Another favourite (because it also sounds lovely :)) is “dancing in this moment” :)). This is mindfulness in action! :) Dancing in this moment literally means dancing in this moment, i.e. in a conversation, you go where the other person wants to go. You are really with the other human being. Being in this moment also means to not be too absorbed with your thoughts (e.g. what to say / ask next) or to judge what has been said or at least to be aware when you are unaware. Just imagine – you cannot dance to the music (say Jazz), if your mind is somewhere else (say Ballet). Mindfulness teaches us not only awareness of what is going on around and within us, but also teaches us coaches to not be too attached with particular outcomes. As a coach, I learn to let go if, for example, a question may not land with the client or if the client wants to explore something else. (I will definitely dedicate a deeper blog post on Mindfulness, which is so much more than meditating and being in the moment!)
Finally, “evoke transformation” may be that cornerstone that many of us will understand in various ways. Transformation can look different to each of us – for example, I can be easy to send an email because, for me, it is just an email, but for someone else this email may represent a huge step in communicating what is important for them. Often, transformation seems to be understood as a big “AHA” moment or a significant change (e.g. new job, new relationship, new home) – but transformation can come in all colours and volumes. With big fanfare or as a silent revolution. However it may look like – all forms of transformation have in common that they introduce a new energy and quality to our lives. As a coach, we are trained to look out for these moments and deepen the client`s energy shift to evoke transformation in our client`s life.
Besides these four amazing cornerstones, what I love about “Co-Active” Coaching is the meaning behind “Co-Active”. It symbolizes the interaction between “being” and doing” – the "hyphen (-)" binds these two sides of the medal to create a range of possibilities. “Co-Active” integrates the wholeness of life and the wholeness of a person.
Have you been in touch with Coaching before? What perceptions have you had of Coaching? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I would be very keen to hear your views! :) PS: Subscribe to my Newsletter to stay in touch for any upcoming posts and news :)
This week`s ...
Inspiration: Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements
Reflection: What does personal development mean to me?
Intention: Start a new thing that helps you grow – e.g. a webinar of your favourite topic, buy this challenging book, schedule #selfcare time for you. Whatever it is, enjoy expanding your horizons! :)