"Realize what`s real and what`s not. Who`s worth the effort and who`s not."
Today I made a big leap towards playing big. I still feel nervous with lots of adrenaline. I guess it was, as Brené Brown would say, a moment of being vulnerable, daring greatly, and using courage to show yourself.
One experience was related to a very disappointing moment I had with a group of professional contacts. We were supposed to meet as an accountability group and as I liked each individual, I let my excitement flow and was keen to create the best team atmosphere possible. I talked to other professionals of the same community to learn from their "lessons learned" in establishing an accountability group. I opened a LinkedIn group to start the conversation, sharing inspirations and suggesting a WhatsApp group. I also said that it would be great to have personal introductions, so we would get to know the whole person rather than only the professional part of us (knowing that we always act from our whole personality even in one specific context). Reflecting upon all this, I can understand if my colleagues thought this might have been a little too much - but then I thought they could have voiced any concerns and also they have known me before as such a people person.
What shifted everything was when we all gathered for our first accountability meeting. Having had previous sessions that were more conversational and less productive, I suggested to follow a Coaching approach that we have all experienced and enjoyed in our overall community calls. I suggested this gently and mindfully, open for the group`s views. The reactions were quite harsh (for me, having put much thought into this) and left me devastated. Yes, the group was male-dominant, but without wanting to only blame gender, I felt left out, put aside as a crazy, enthusiastic outsider, and not being understood. Even when the team members tried to console me, as they observed I got more silent, I could tell that they did not understand the situation emotionally, but only rationally. After the meeting, I had to burst into tears (blame my emotional and sensitive side) and looked into this topic to heal my wounds.
Since then it was a long thought process of going back and forth and I didn`t know what to do. One part of me wanted to protect myself, the other part saw this was "giving up", which will not change the world. Long story short - I have decided to leave the group because our values of interactions didn`t match and also it had this painful effect on me. This is not to say that they are wrong, but it more means that I have wounds to heal. I cannot wait until others change, so I need to take care of my own wellbeing and focus on those people who serve me well. Also, I am currently in a fortunate position to choose the people who have the right to be in my life, so I decided to free up the space and make room for nourishing connections.
The other nerve-wrecking experience dealt with my cooperation with an organization. We had a great successful initial Coaching webinar and my vision was to host regular Coaching webinars to support the organization with their personal development. When it sounded that the organization was more wary about my big vision (déjà vu with my corporate life), I could feel the disappointment emerging in me. We then moved on to discuss other items, such as community building and other webinars, but as mindful as I was, I could still feel the disappointment nagging. At some point, I then took all my courage and expressed that my main intention is to offer Coaching webinars, and if this is not possible, then I would need to divert my resources. The organization quickly understood and I was relieved, but I still feel agitated after me playing that big. And I feel this was an important experience to make.
While this is part of making experiences on your entrepreneurial journey - to find out whether things work out or not - I have not only learned to ask for what you want (to do), esp. if you do it well, but also that I may not need other partners to make my vision come true or do what I want to do. Yes, if a collaboration works out well, it is fabulous and beneficial. But if not, then it should not stop you from pursuing what you would like to do and from making your impact on the world. Know your worth, know your value, and be compassionate with yourself during the process while you show yourself.
Love, from me to you,
How are you staying true to yourself? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)
Inspiration: Tara Mohr - Playing Big
Reflection: How are you creating your life as it serves you?
Intention: I honour my values.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com