"The waiting. The meantime. The in-between. It all serves a purpose. Trust your process, even the delays and detours."
As human beings, it is natural to us to feel the urge to grow, to learn and to evolve. If you look at humanity - we have moved from ancient times to medieval times to now modern and still ever-changing times. We may all know this feeling when it seems we are stuck - it is a feeling of feeling restless, dissatisfied, unhappy. In Coaching, we like to call this energy "dissonance" - something is not right, or differently phrased, stars are not best aligned yet for you to fully thrive and express yourself.
While dissonance can feel uncomfortable such that we want to move away from it as fast as possible, it is a valuable cue where we currently are, so we can take new actions to move into a more resonant place. There may be times when this transition can take longer than expected, be more stressful than planned, and also feel endless than we initially thought.
When will we ever meet our husband / wife? When will we ever be promoted? When will we ever be happy? All valid questions and yet, the trap is that they are all future focused while we are in the present moment. So if you feel discouraged or hopeless where you currently are, read this:
1. You are exactly where life wants you to be.
Now, if you are in a very difficult situation, you may not like this wisdom. So let me tell you about my own personal journey. When I had my identity crisis with work, I had to take sick leave to recover from a dissonant environment and deal with challenging questions that were addressing my existence. I literally hit rock-bottom by crying alone in my flat - feeling lost, distressed, and unsure about the past, present, and future. Believe me when I say I have never felt like this in my life before - and I had experierenced other not so nice moments, such as being bullied, falling into burn out, or going through a long heartbreak. So while I was at the lowest point in my life, I couldn`t even believe in a better future.
Could I at least believe that I was exactly where I was supposed to be? Back then, I didn`t have much energy to think of the big picture. When you struggle with mental health, the only thing you can do is take one next step. Step by step, so this is what I did, until I arrived to this moment where I am today.
In hindsight I can definitely see how I "had to" end up at rock-bottom because otherwise, I wouldn`t have woken up. I had seen the signs and had felt my intuition before, but one part of me didn`t want to admit that I was running the wrong hamster wheel. That part of me was hoping that everything would work out at the end, so that I didn`t have to change, so I didn`t have to leave what I have always known, so I didn`t have to explore unchartered territory.
So wherever you are, trust that life has your back. If it is a currently challenging moment, take it step by step. If it is a pleasant moment, appreciate the present in all its colours. As Steve Jobs once said,
"Again, you can`t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
2. Appreciate the moment now, so you can appreciate the future you wish for.
We may all know the feeling when we got to where we wanted, but we already think of the next objective. And this is totally alright and natural - as mentioned, it is our way of being to want to grow and sometimes reach for the stars. But a story of one of my favorite female role models, Tara Mohr, struck me. She told about the moment when she held her famous book in her own hands and while she was in exuberant joy, this moment only lasted a few seconds. Her message was that we better choose something that we can also enjoy during the process while we are heading to the destination.
Brooke Castillo, another inspiring life coach, also outlined beautifully in her podcast episode "It doesn`t get better than this", how our happiness is linked to our brain, the thoughts we think (about the present and future moment) and also our ability to experience happiness. This really blew my mind as it had hers - because if you think about it, it is on us what experience we want to live in our life. Yes, external factors can help, but if we haven`t trained our mindset, we may fail to appreciate all the things we have.
So fall in love with your journey, your process while you are unfolding - an amazing opportunity to learn more about yourself and make various experiences in life. As Eckhart Tolle would say,
"Realize deeply that the present moment is the only moment you have."
3. You are moving to the right direction - take credits for how far you have come.
Even if you are not where you want to be, I am sure your past version is hugely proud or even astonished by how far you have come. With Personal Development, esp. our own, we may not see how much we have actually grown - how wiser, resilient, authentic we`ve become.
If you still don`t know what we are talking about - take a break now and list 3 things you can be proud of yourself. What are 3 things you are celebrating about yourself? Hint: Even your future self (where you want to be) is in awe of you today!
"Maybe you have to let go of who you were, to become who you will be."
Much love x
Would you like to go deeper in a free Coaching session? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter and join our #magicmonday Community events :)
Inspiration: #magicmonday Community
Reflection: What am I celebrating about myself?
Intention: I meet myself where I am, which is here and now.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com