"Take the first step in faith. You don´t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." - Martin Luther King
Sometimes our days are mixed, sometimes we have a low. Sometimes we just don`t know what to do, and how to stop feeling this pain. Sometimes it feels like even more negative thoughts seem to find their way to us. What started with a small trigger event, such as a hick-up in a relationship or that annoying project at work, seems to soon build up to a negative spiral we hardly can escape from. New, but convincing beliefs surface, such as "What is wrong with me?", "Why is everyone doing this to me?", "Why me?".
I have been there, and it wasn`t uncommon to feel like a failure. I cried a lot, was hopeless, and feeling like a victim. It was a very painful and lonely process. You often don`t feel understood, so if friends approach you and try to comfort you, you push them further away. If you do inner work and are usually passionate about personal development, then during such a phase, you even shut down and don`t want to deal with any spiritual and self-help guides at all. The danger is obvious - that you continue isolating and hurting yourself (even if only emotionally) - but not always visible for those who suffer (or also others who care for those in pain).
What to do in these low, dark moments? Do whatever you need to do - if you want to chill with Netflix, eat ice cream, and do nothing at all, please give yourself permission to be so. Please reach out for help even if you think it won`t make a difference. Sometimes it is not a "quick fix" we need, but just to release and clear. So letting it all out towards a friend or a professional neutral person, such as a therapist or a coach, can all make a difference. Try to not have expectations on the outcomes or how you should feel afterwards - this is what I learned with low mood or also depression, it is more than alright to just go day by day, step by step. You don`t have to figure out everything and eliminate all your pain at once, try to just put one foot in front of the other.
When I woke up with a black cloud in my inner world, I am taken aback by my sadness, while I try to not resist it. I learned with mindfulness to accept what is here, even if it is painful. I try to accept and love myself - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn'`t, and that`s ok. The willingness to reach out to the light is all that matters, and light will find you eventually. After waking up, I know the next step is just to start my morning routine - if I want, I can journal all my sadness in my notebook. The next thing is to just eat breakfast, even if I feel like crying or getting back to bed. The next thing may be to start work or join calls and meetings, whatever it is, I know I do my best and do what I can. Even if people or colleagues are still demanding or seem to not consider my feelings (which is fair enough if I haven`t told them), that's ok - they may push my buttons or my dark cloud may prevent me from being too absorbed by it. When the day ends, I can give myself a hug, do a short yoga session on loneliness, and acknowledge my strength today. Or I can just fall onto bed, without having brushed my teeth. So however our days may unfold, we can just take it step by step, day by day.
How are you doing today? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)
This week`s ...
Reflection: What do I need?
Intention: I take it slowly, step by step, day by day - I listen to my needs.