"You don`t become what you want, you become what you believe." - Oprah Winfrey
How was your weekend? I hope you had a nourishing weekend, and I send you love for this week ahead!
Yesterday night - also thanks to a great conversation with a mindful friend - I got a glimpse into a realization, that I need to share with you, before it gets lost :-)
Yes, I did have a bad moment (s. my blog post on "3 Coaching Questions To Deal With Disappointments, Rejection, Hurt"), which spiralled me downwards and attracted more Saboteur thoughts, such as "What is wrong with me? What is wrong with others? Why are they all so mean to me? What am I doing wrong?" Being occupied with these thoughts, of course, only fueled my self-doubt and negativity towards life, so at least, I was aware of what was going on, so I could take conscious measures, such as distancing myself from everything, relaxing and meditating, and also just enjoying the sun in our garden.
It may be that because of me taking a conscious break that something else could emerge, a tender ray of light, a gentle sense of knowing. I was so worried about everything - whether I will meet my husband, whether I will settle somewhere in a beautiful home, whether I will make it - that I knew both that I was adding pain to my pain and that I need to change my world inside me to manifest the future I want. It was before I fell asleep, a thought creeped in, gently whispering, "Linh ... my dear, what if everything turns out well ... or even better?" Either I was too tired at that moment or this perspective too bright for my current dark world, that I fell asleep without contemplating on this whisper. At least, it seemed that this thought has helped me dream well!
Now being awake, I can clearly see this inviting perspective and want to explore it, give it more room, put it somehow into stone. I love this option. Yes, what if everything turns out well, or even better? Who had said that all of our worries will become true (ok, I get this, if people say what you think will define your life)? Who excluded the possiblity right away that there wouldn`t be a silver lining, a gift, or even a magnificent surprise waiting for us? Yes, there are people who try to, unconsciously or consciously, put us down, but who said that I have to believe them, esp. if they don`t live the lives I want to live? Who said that all my dreams would not come true?
In fact - NO ONE!
And yes, you may counter-argue, but I am sure that because of our negative bias, we may have unconsciously looked out for the negative signs confirming our bias. For example, whenever I talked to my friends, I felt like it was difficult for them to express that they genuinely believe that I would meet my husband at some point in my life. I don`t know whether they could sense that I was probably weird (haha) or they were themselves unhappy in their single life or relationships, but it can be a rebellious act to have faith in our romantic lives given media and society suggest something is inherently wrong with us. Even if all of these may be true, I know that I myself also had doubts - in myself and in the prospects of my future life. And because my belief is influencing my perceptions, emotions, and behavior, of course, when I hear those doubts or insecurities, even if slightly or potentially, my own doubts and insecurity get more easily triggered than my faith, that is still work in progress.
But now something seems to change or at least, wants to change. I am invited to explore and adopt another perspective, that opens my horizon and field of possibilities. It also improves the quality of my life, knowing that everything is and will be well. That I can just also enjoy this moment, while I know my future will unfold for the greatest growth and love that I am already experiencing now. It is an invitation to not immediately believe in those Saboteur thoughts that inhabit our minds, but also pause and question them - like who said that this would (not) materialize?! I decide what I want to believe in - and it doesn`t mean that I go into this blindly. Of course, we need to respond to feedback accordingly, e.g. if someone doesn`t reply repeatedly for a long time, we may let this go compassionately. We can respond in a way that empowers, loves, and supports us - this is a rebellious act, I know. But a necessary one for our world!
Love, from me to you,
Do you genuinely believe that everything will turn out well? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)