This quote is from the vulnerability luminary, Brené Brown.
I have chosen the topic of vulnerability as this is the current state I am in, which I have only noticed recently. Out of my expansive and limitless heart energy, I have reached out to a person whom I had a difficult relationship with. I told this person many things, but not, as I later realized, what the truth deep down in my heart is, out of hurt and disappointments.
After time passed by and lots of inner work with my coach, I was inspired by another past friend, with whom the friendship had dissolved and who surprised me with a handwritten letter, full of mindful and compassionate words. I told her later, because she opened her heart, it opened mine , so we had a phone call after months of no contact. Inspired by her heart action, I was equally inspired to reach out to "my" difficult person and felt really good, resonant, and aligned.
It was one of the moments where you just share your truth, your honesty coming from your heart, without expecting anything in return. It was also a letter where I indeed said everything that was needed to say and that I knew would bring me peace, having shared my truth to ultimately let it go and move on, with or without the person (without explicitly saying this).
I was then surprised by the person`s prompt response, which was surprisingly kind, mindful, and open. The person was willing to have a conversation and I was grateful and happy about this outcome. After I let this message sink, I responded and asked for their availabilities, and this is when my vulnerability seemed to kick in.
As I am waiting for the person`s response - my Judge has emerged, expressing very vocally "See, Linh! This person clearly doesn`t care, otherwise, they would have already replied. Yes, maybe they are busy and maybe they prioritize other things and people, which eventually means that you don`t matter. What did this bring you to put your heart on your sleeve? Nothing but a polite response - when it comes to action, you can see anybody`s real intentions!"
Even when observing these judgments mindfully, they still didn`t fail to make an impact, which is to make me feel miserable, to question myself, and almost to feel regret about my intention coming from my heart. I tried to journal, to meditate, and take a break, but I could tell that the Judge, whose opinions I haven`t heard for the first time, sounded so familiar, that it can be difficult to push them aside. I am feeling vulnerable having shared this open letter to that difficult person, from whom I had received very different, sometimes hurtful reactions in the past, now waiting for a response, maybe forever.
I know that it sounds contradictory to wait for a response having had the objective to only share my truth without expecting anything. I have come to the conclusion that the following are my current go-to tools to guide me through this emotional process where past wounds seem to open up:
Accept my emotions and thoughts with love
Ask myself "What would love do?" - the answer was: Love would give me a hug, for my willingness to go into an emotional territory. Love would also accept and send the other person love, too.
Take good care of myself, while I am going through this personal development journey. I haven`t expected and also thought this through so much that I wasn`t prepared for past emotions and thoughts resurfacing. As a counter-balance, I can give myself a hug, lots of self-care, and celebration for my courage to be vulnerable, while not knowing how everything will unfold.
Ask for help and connect with supportive friends
Let your tears flow and cry, there is nothing wrong about it - your Inner Child is scared and needs an additional cover of protection and love
Remember that we don`t know much about the other person, who is a variable we cannot control, and also it is always their free will to react however they wish, which can all be precious data points for us
Remember also that you are not alone in the realm of life - a spiritual force is guiding and supporting you during this flow of life
Choose love - for yourself, for them, for this situation <3
Celebrate yourself for your courageous acts to show yourself and vulnerable sides, my dear - this is how we can change our world. I am with you, even if you feel lonely and vulnerable.
Love, from me to you,
Would you like to go deeper in a free Coaching session? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter and join our #magicmonday Community events :)
Inspiration: Brené Brown - Daring Greatly
Reflection: How can I take care of myself?
Intention: I celebrate my vulnerability, while taking good care of myself.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com