"Resistance to change is always the biggest obstacle."
A dear family member got hospitalized this weekend. It was a shocking and horrendous experience. I was luckily or unluckily with her when I had to call the emergency. Fortunately, everything went well and my family member is recovering, but it was definitely quite a shock. The plan was to visit her over the weekend, so I had looked forward to a sort of a "family get-away". Within minutes everything changed - we had to call the emergency, I was in shock in an unknown city, feeling just emotionally and physically drained because my dear family member had to go to the hospital.
It was one of those crazy moments you would read in those movies or books that can change everything. From a moment of peace and serenity to a moment of shock and despair. From a moment of anticipation and happiness to a moment of fear and helplessness. It was one of those moments where you realize - maybe just like the pandemic - that you had taken things for granted, such as your own and your loved ones` health. It was one of those moments when you had to learn the hard way what is important and what really matters at the end of the day. Not those people who annoy you, not how you look today (unless it gives cues about your health), not the things to tick off of your to-do list (and I talk about these small, but many items, such as responding to messages).
In the midst of it, a Coaching Conversation webinar for our cultural initiative, Vietnam Wellbeing, was scheduled over this weekend. It was out of question that we would keep the webinar in our diary as this is one of the initiatives I really enjoy and of which I had hoped that a sense of distraction and normalcy would help me deal with the current shock. I only had to adjust the timing, i.e. shortened it by 30min, given my little brother wanted to go home early. As a result, it was a crash course on Mindfulness rather than the usual exchange we would enjoy among other Vietnamese fellows. First, I beat myself up for disappointing the community (which I did with one person) and quickly got hooked with another member`s feedback that the session was quite "choppy". All the while, I knew that my Saboteur was looking for negative things, while ignoring the many positive feedback we did get despite our shorter session than usual.
While I was proud of myself that I managed to cover all the important items within 30min - also allowing everyone of our biggest community gathering to speak not only once, but twice - I mindfully noticed that there was a danger that I would fall into my judgmental Victim state. But I consciously decided against it - maybe because I was also exhausted by everything, so I didn`t have much energy left to beat myself up. However, I also managed to remind me that
Family comes first (esp. when hospitalized!)
Others` feedback - whether positive or negative - mustn`t have power over ourselves and least define our self-worth or mood of the day. Why? Because other people, even the closest ones, will never know or understand every bit of our lives to 100%
Feedback - whether positive or negative - often tells us more about themselves rather than us
We are always doing our best in given circumstances, so no reason to beat ourselves up on top of what is going on in our lives
Our wellbeing comes first - no matter what urgent obligations you may have, how many people you may disappoint, or how you yourself feel the need to prove something or perform
Sleeping one more night will do wonders - those messages or actions can wait
Self-care, kindness towards ourselves, the way we talk to ourselves are what all makes a difference
Everything is perfect and meant to be
There is a cosmic reason for it
Tomorrow is a new day
We can treasure life before it changes again (with new adventures and gifts)
Mindfulness definitely helps to deal with challenging situations
... I am still learning and embracing what life wants to teach me
As I am now writing this blog, I am still waiting for my family member to be released from hospital, so please send all your best energies to her. I trust that she will recover soon, and send your loved ones lots of love, too.
Love, from me to you,
Are you taking things for granted? Let me know by sending an email to email@example.com – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)
Inspiration: Christina von Dreien - Consciousness Creates Peace
Reflection: What does really matter at the end of the day?
Intention: I don`t take things for granted.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com