"If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary." - Jim Rohn
Yesterday I took a big risk in my personal life - texting someone. I know, from the outside, it sounds like sending a 300-character message is easy, but your mind, emotions, and circumstances can make a big deal out of it. I was in an inner conflict - my heart wanted to send this message of gratitude to someone I met, but to whom I haven`t spoken for long. My mind wanted me to do the opposite, so to not send the message, protecting me from any potential harm and keeping me safe.
I was torn. My mind had great arguments, such as "What if he doesn`t appreciate where you are coming from? What if he doesn`t reciprocate the gratitude you feel for him? What if this situation means you need to learn to accept he was not interested in keeping up the conversation with you, and you need to learn to let it go? What if you need to learn to not always pour in love, but also set boundaries and let others earn your trust first?" All of these arguments ringed true, but left me feel frustrated than convinced, as if someone told me "no" to what I wanted to do.
So this question kept lingering with me during this week. I tried to meditate on it to seek some "universal" guidance, but couldn`t reach real clarity. I asked my coach and one close friend, but both did the right thing in implying that only I will know what I want to do (being aware that how the other person reacts is out of my control). I reached a point when I was so annoyed by this question in my head, preventing me from focussing on my projects and also from being in the moment, that, out of desperation, I asked another friend. A friend, whom I, unfortunately, only occasionally talk to, so I didn`t know what would come back, esp. as I learned that asking your friends about next steps in your life is not always helpful. But as if this was a "universal" sign she left me a message that was truly inspiring. She encouraged me to live my 2021 motto, "follow my heart", and that if I want to share gratitude, I shall just do so, esp. if this has kept me that busy. I will then just see whether this is a person, who would appreciate my words and motivation. She reminded me - this is where I had to laugh - that this person has no power to destroy my life.
Listening to her encouragement and support, an image came to my mind. I was like a little girl who was ready to have a fun time at the playground and meet other playmates. It could be that the other children don`t want to play with me, or even push me , or steal my favorite toy. But I knew I could always come back to my mum, who was watching me the whole time, ready to intervene if needed, but always waiting for me whenever I finished to squeeze and hold me. I imagined my current situation at the playground, with a boy, who didn`t want to play with me. I remained indifferent and continued to play on my own, while my mum was afraid of what this loneliness would do to me. Then, suddenly a toy would fall next to me. I picked it up and realized that it belonged to the boy, who didn´t want to play with me. So I just stood up and handed it over to the boy. While he looked up and grabbed the toy, I headed back to my mum, who was so proud of me and hugged me tightly in her arms. Later in the evening, when my mum tucked me in to sleep, my dad would ask her how the day was. My mum would reply, "I am so proud of our daughter. Linh has such a good and big heart, she will do good in the world." The mind-blowing thing during this short meditative exercise, I was both the little girl and the mum. The one who would leave her comfort zone to play and make experiences. And the one who would love myself regardless. It was an act of self-love, activitating my inner resources, to support and guide me in this moment.
Long story short, I eventually reached out to the guy, with a short (my friend`s tip) message, clearly expressing primarily gratitude, so not being one of those weird, ambiguous dating messages. I then put my phone aside and let any emotions arise, to just be with them. I felt aliveness, love, compassion, but also vulnerability, uncertainty, tenderness. It was a beautiful experience, a new level of experience from this new venture of mine. I only checked my messages hours later, but I could see with a little spark of joy that he had quickly responded, with a likewise mindful message. I was a bit overwhelmed by his act of kindness, while not interpreting too much. The way he responded not only showed that my intuition was right for my gratitude for his being, but it was just a beautiful gift after taking this risk and moving out of my comfort zone. I know the outcome is not the main point, but I went to bed sleeping with a heart full of love, for myself and life. I gratefully learned that it is worth doing something new, sometimes even unusual, to try something out and follow your heart even if you don´t understand it.
Are you taking risks in your life? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)
This week`s ...
Inspiration: Brandon Stanton - Humans
Reflection: How much am I in my comfort zone, and where can I take more calculated risks?
Intention: I do one new thing or one thing differently every week.