"Become addicted to the feeling of life always working in your favor ..." - Kylie Francis
April was a month full of personal growth - I left my corporate job, I initiated wellbeing initiatives that matter to me and that are growing fast (so grateful!), I let go of past relationships, I appreciated time with my family before going back to London, I started my new life with my most authentic self.
Of course, there were also moments when I felt down, when I had doubts, when I was trapped in my past. But with my own coach, continuous personal development and mindfulness practice, and the smaller moments in life, such as enjoying the first and long sun rays or being at peace with everything, I have managed to come back to the present moment - as we know, the only moment we have.
I would like to share with you my reflectin on hurtful, disappointing, and negative experiences, that I managed to see from a different angle - from the perspective that life is always in favour of us. I hope reading my personal story will help and inspire you to trust and enjoy life more, too, - because some friendships are perfect only for a particular season.
When I left my corporate job, a process was triggered, that I like to call "letting go of the past". Many colleagues, who I thought were friends, who I have invited to my birthday or whom I have made a gift, would never reach out to wish me the best. This experience wasn`t too shocking for me because I had experienced this before, when I relocated from Frankfurt to London. While there may be plenty of reasons, I soon decided that it would take too much of my energy to try to understand other people`s motivations behind not responding, because other people are always out of our control. So it was easy for me to let go of the past and choose peace and acceptance instead for my wellbeing.
It was different with friendships, where you have been closer with many more shared memories. It wasn`t until I realized that I have very often given too much of my big heart, while not receiving either as much or only a snippet of love and compassion. Now, I haven`t expected anything in return, but, of course, you will feel drained and sometimes resentful in the long run. My coach helped me understand that there are different levels of relationships, for which I can share different levels of my heart, too. It doesn`t mean shutting off or giving less, but giving consciously in portions. As Jay Shetty once said, let your people earn your trust. And while I would love mastering unconditional love, as long as I am not there yet, I have to put my wellbeing first, also for the benefit of the relationship.
Often when friendships take an unexpected turn or dissolve or sometimes also explode in a fight, it can be a difficult process going back and forth between the good and bad moments. During this process, it was often my intuition that had guided me, signaled me, warned me about the upcoming end of a relationship. But often, I couldn`t understand it, only in hindsight, as you would always do when you realized you could have listened to your intuition earlier.
Another powerful perspective I gained during my reflection was the perspective that some friendships and relationships are perhaps only meant for this particular stage in life. So when I had my corporate job, I had a different lifestyle and environment. For that situation, it was "perfect" to be friends with people who matched me at that time. These were great friends and people, but the purpose of our relationship, the value even, may only be able to be fulfilled if certain parameters are met. So when I left my corporate job to choose fulfilment, authentiticy, aliveness, naturally people may be triggered, lose interest, or just cease to be your match. This new perspective has really helped me to let go with grace, esp. those friendships with many good memories.
Knowing you, I probably don`t have to mention that some people enter our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. So while I have talked about the "season people", I also believe that EVERY person has a reason - sometimes we see it, sometimes we take the opportunity to learn, but sometimes we unconsciously decide that they remain strangers (and then that could be the reason :-)). Meaning, having a reason doesn`t have to be that heartbreak-confrontation-big drama person, as I have often thought, a reason can be multifold, including coming to your life for only a season.
Finally, my coach shared her wisdom that people for a lifetime are special and, thus, quite rare. It is not about quantity, but quality - also when it comes down to friendships not meant for a lifetime. For example, I thought of a good friend that she would be one of my closest, because we met regularly and knew what was going on in each other`s lives. But for one, I am the kind of a person who values depth, going into essence, expressing ourselves fully, which was not present with this friend. So even if I have seen her more than others, if she doesn`t meet my core values, this friendship will not transform to a lifetime relationship, which is absolutely fine.
Love, from me to you,
Would you like to go deeper in a free Coaching session? Let me know by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – I very look forward to hearing from you! :) PS: Subscribe to my #mindfulmagic Newsletter to stay in touch for upcoming posts, free offers, and news :)
Inspiration: The Weeknd & Ariana Grande - Save Your Tears (love the remix with Ariana`s beautiful voice!)
Reflection: What relationships do I want to let go because I deserve peace?
Intention: I choose my wellbeing over relationships that are not serving me.
Viet Linh Le is a female visionary, qualified coach with corporate experience, and multi-cultural founder of @vietnamwellbeing, with the mission to change our world by coaching the next-generation decision-makers. Find out more on www.vietlinhle.com